Welcome Note

Welcome to February’s edition of “Plays Well With Others.” This month, we’re exploring trust, the invisible force that shapes every workplace interaction and relationship. While we often think of trust as something that simply exists or doesn’t, it’s actually being actively built or eroded with each conversation, decision, and action we take at work. Whether you’re leading a team, collaborating with colleagues, or navigating complex stakeholder relationships, understanding the mechanics of trust can transform how you approach workplace relationships.

Let’s explore why trust matters and how it fundamentally shapes our professional lives.

The Trust-Relationship Dynamic: Why Trust Matters at Work

Edgar Schein defines a relationship as “a set of mutual expectations about each other’s future behaviour based on past interactions with each other.” This elegant definition captures a profound truth: every interaction either strengthens or weakens these expectations—in other words, builds or erodes trust.

Trust is like oxygen in the workplace—invisible when present, yet its absence makes everything harder to accomplish. While we often take it for granted in healthy work environments, the moment trust erodes, we find ourselves in a drastically different landscape where even simple interactions become complex negotiations. Each interaction becomes weighted with the past, coloured by whether our previous expectations were met or disappointed.

The Hidden Cost of Low Trust

When trust disappears from workplace relationships, the impact ripples through every interaction. Employees begin second-guessing communications, searching for hidden agendas, and spending valuable mental energy on self-protection rather than innovation and growth. What was once a straightforward email exchange becomes an exercise in careful word choice and documentation. Team meetings transform from collaborative spaces into cautious environments where people hold back their best ideas for fear of judgment or misuse.

Understanding the Trust Equation

One practical framework for building trust in workplace relationships comes from David Maister’s research. He suggests that trust is built on three key elements—Reliability, Credibility, and Intimacy—all divided by Self-Orientation.

This creates a powerful lens through which to view our professional relationships:

• Reliability: Do you consistently deliver on your commitments, whether they’re major project deadlines or small promises made in passing?
• Credibility: Does your expertise match your claims, and do you admit when something is outside your wheelhouse?
• Intimacy: Have you invested in understanding your colleagues as individuals and created genuine connections?
• Self-Orientation: Are you genuinely focused on mutual benefit, or are you primarily driven by personal gain?

The Trust-Performance Spiral

Perhaps most fascinating is how trust creates either an upward or downward spiral in workplace relationships. As outlined by organisational learning experts Daniel Kim and Peter Senge, the quality of our relationships drives the quality of our thoughts, which in turn influences our actions and ultimately our results. These results then circle back to impact our relationships, creating either a virtuous or vicious cycle.

Creating Psychological Safety

Google’s extensive research into team performance revealed that psychological safety—the shared belief that team members won’t face negative consequences for speaking up—was the single most important factor in team success. This type of environment, where people feel safe to voice half-formed ideas or raise concerns, doesn’t happen by accident. It’s built through consistent demonstrations of trust and trustworthiness.

Building Trust in Practice

To strengthen trust in your workplace relationships:

1. Practice presence over productivity when interacting with colleagues. Put away your phone and close your laptop during conversations.
2. Make and keep small promises consistently—they’re the building blocks of trust.
3. Be transparent about your limitations and willing to say “I don’t know” when appropriate.
4. Create space for candid feedback by responding with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

Moving Forward

As we navigate increasingly complex work environments, trust isn’t just a nice-to-have—it’s a strategic imperative. The quality of our workplace relationships, underpinned by trust, directly impacts our ability to innovate, collaborate, and achieve results. The question isn’t whether to trust, but how to build and maintain trust intentionally in our professional relationships.

Remember, trust isn’t binary—it’s not about choosing between complete trust or complete distrust. Instead, it’s about finding the right balance and building trust gradually through consistent actions and authentic connections.

Leadership Challenge: Your Trust Portfolio

Take a moment this month to conduct what I call a “Trust Portfolio Review.” This exercise helps you understand your current trust patterns and identify opportunities for strengthening workplace relationships.

The Exercise

Choose three working days this week. At the end of each day, take 10 minutes to reflect on your interactions using these prompts:

1. Trust Deposits and Withdrawals: Think about your interactions today. List two moments where you either built trust (made a deposit) or potentially eroded it (made a withdrawal). What specifically happened? Remember, even small moments count—like following through on a minor promise or being distracted during a conversation.
2. The Trust Equation in Action: For one significant interaction today, rate yourself on: Reliability: Did you do what you said you would? Credibility: Were you honest about what you knew and didn’t know? Intimacy: Did you create genuine connection? Self-orientation: Were you truly focused on mutual benefit? 
3. Future Expectations: Based on today’s interactions, how might your colleagues’ expectations of your future behaviour have shifted? Remember Schein’s definition—relationships are built on these expectations.

Making It Count

After three days, look for patterns. Where do you consistently make deposits? Where might you be making unintended withdrawals? Choose one specific behaviour you’d like to strengthen or change in the coming month.

The real value comes from noticing the small moments that shape trust—they’re happening all the time, whether we’re conscious of them or not. By bringing awareness to these moments, we can be more intentional about building the kind of workplace relationships we want to have.

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